The Acolytes Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever
by lexbria
Summary: Magneto's boys are bored. John comes up with a way for them to entertain themselves.


**A/N: **In case you were wondering, Victor Creed = Sabertooth. Adapted from one of my favorite episodes of The Power Puff Girls.

"This sucks!" Sabertooth roared, pacing back and forth on all fours. "I'm bored out of my mind!"

"I hear ya mate," Pyro said, messing around with his lighter.

"I don' understand why we can' go on with the mission because it's rainin'," Remy said, staring out the window at the dark clouds.

"It's _his_ fault!" Victor said, pointing an accusatory finger at Pyro. "If _he_ could create fire instead of just play with it, then _maybe_ we could have went on with our plans!" He swung at the defenseless Aussie, knocking the lighter out of his hand. Pyro let out a sad screech, only stopping whenRemy held up his hand.

"Enough!" the Cajun exclaimed angrily. "Now I'm bored too, and you don't see me takin' it out on Pyro!"

"Me either," John said with teary eyes.

"Now, if Colossus and Mags could find them somethin' to do, I'm sure the rest of us could too."

"But what?" Victor growled, perched on the bed in the center of the boys shared room.

"How about, since we can't attack the X-Men in real life, we pretend to be the X-Men and fight other guys… our… selves?" John suggested. He bowed his head at the confused looks on his friend's faces. "Sorry."

"That's a great idea!" Remy said.

"How is that a great idea?"

"Think about it. If we control the X-Men, we control the outcome."

"Oh," Sabertooth said, scratching his head. "Okay, I'm in. But nothing stupid, okay?" he said turning to John. "How do we start?"

"Like this," Remy said, walking over to John's set of Legos. "It was a lovely day in the city of Bayville. The kids were at they schools, adults was driving around town, looking for something to do." He got a couple Hotwheels he found lying on the ground and started driving them around the makeshift city. "Oh hey dere Joe! How's it goin'?" he made one car say. "Oh just fine, Timmy. Everything's fine. In fact, I was-"

"RAWR!" Sabertooth growled, knocking over the building with a stuffed animal he found on John's bed.

"Whoa, whoa, stop," Remy said, holding up both hands. "What the hell you think you doin'?"

"I'm a giant dog," Victor said. "I'm destroying the town."

"That's a dingo!" Pyro yelled.

"You can't destroy the town yet!" Remy said. "Joe still gotta pick up 'is groceries and take the kids to soccer practice."

"The dog doesn't care what's on Joe's to do list!" Victor screeched.

"Dingo!"

"He's got his own agenda to worry about!" Victor crossed his arms in frustration.

"Look, I'm runnin' this show, so you jus' gon' have to wait," Remy said, pushing Victor out of his way.

"No you ain't, Cajun," Victor growled, pulling Remy back by his hair.

"Yes I am!"

"No I am!"

"No I am!"

"No, I am!" They both turned and looked at John, who had all of his hair pilled under a bicycle helmet and was sitting in a chair behind the computer desk.

"Yes sir, Professor X!" they both said, standing at attention.

"Alright, now let me see just what's going on here," he said, playing around on the laptop. He put his fingers to the sides of the helmet and closed his eyes, concentrating hard. "It seems the source of the giant dingo is a mutant. A little girl who's run away from home. But there's something controlling her thoughts. I can't get through."

"Rawr!" Victor said, knocking over more Legos.

"There's only one team who can handle a job like this. Avengers Assemble!" John yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Wrong team dumbass," Remy said, grabbing a pair of shades from his closet. "And the Professor can' stand."

"Oh yeah." John sat back down. "Right. Scott, get in here!"

"Yes Professor?" Victor said, running to John's side. He wore a pair of dark sunglasses over his eyes.

"What are you doin'?" Remy asked, walking over to him in an identical pair of glasses.

"I'm Cyclops now."

"You can' be Cyclops!" Remy said, angrily.

"Why not?"

"Because, you was playing the monster!"

"Yeah, and now I'm playing Cyclops!" Victor yelled.

"Well, then who am I supposed to be?"

"Jean Grey."

"Hell no!" Remy pushed him. "You be Jean!"

"No you be Jean!"

"I'll be Jean!" Pyro offered enthusiastically.

"You can't!" they both yelled, frightening the younger boy. Victor and Remy continued to argue back and forth while John cried loudly, until Magneto came in, anger written all over his face.

"WHY. ARE. YOU. ALL. YELLING?" he asked slowly. All three of them started taking at the same time, neither making any sense. Magneto held up a hand.

"Quite! One at a time! Pyro?"

"Well, we were bored because it was raining and Sabertooth was getting pissy so I said maybe we should play X-Men and we can see what happens, and so Sabertooth was a dingo and Remy was Joe and I was Professor X and then Victor was Cyclops and Remy told him he couldn't be Cyclops and I said I'd be Jean and they said I couldn't. And nobody wants to play Jean!"

"Can't you idiots get along? I have a lot of work to do and can't concentrate with all of this noise. Now, how can we solve this problem?"

"Well," John said, smiling devilishly.

"This is NOT what I had in mind," Erik said, frowning. He was in a black cat suit they'd found in the storage closet, a red wig situated on his head.

"Oh hush," Pyro said angrily. He wore a white wig and black cape, and two white gloves on his hands. "X-Men, we have to move quickly. There's a giant dingo attacking the city and we're the only ones who can stop it!"

"Why do you get to be Storm?" Erik asked angrily.

"Because Storm is sexy," he said, smiling slyly. "Now the only way we gone stop this monster is with an aerial attack. "

"RAWR!" Remy said, angrily smashing the remaining blocks with his toy dingo.

"Let's move out!" Victor and John ran in circles around the room, about halfway from where Remy was standing. They turned and stared at Erik. "Jean, come on!"

Erik put his hands out, still frowning. He slowly walked over to where the boys were.

"Let's go!" John said. He made up theme music as the two ran over to Remy. "Pew pew pew!" he said, taking fake shots at his friend.

"Rawr!" Remy said, locking hands with him.

"Oh no! I am going doooown!" John fell in slow motion to the floor, rolling over to Magneto's feet.

"My turn," Victor said. He lifted his shades and looked at Remy, who slapped him across the face. He held in his anger and fell slowly. "Oh no! I also am going dooown!" He stopped rolling at Magneto's feet.

"Jean, save us!" they yelled from the floor.

"You've got to be kidding me," Erik said. "I have things to do; I don't have time for this."

"You've got to help us," Victor said.

John nodded from his spot on the floor. "And the faster you help us, the faster you can get back to work!"

"You promise?"

"Yes!" the men yelled. "Now help us!"

"Okay. Fly fly fly fly," Erik said as he walked over to Remy. "Pow. Bye bye bye bye." He ran out of the room just as quickly.

The boys jumped to their feet. "And once again, the day is saved! Thanks to the X-Men!" John and Victor high-fived.

"Ya know, I don't think Jean's powers work that way," Pyro said, putting a finger to his chin.

"Wait just a minute, homme," Remy said, getting to his feet. "We still need to figure out who released the poor girl. Now it couldn' have been the Brotherhood. They're too stupid for that."

"Maybe it was Trask," Victor said, drawing a pencil mustache on his face. "Showing everyone what those… savages are capable of. They'll want to lock up all the mutants, and then we'll finally be able to exterminate them!"

"Nah," John said. "Trask isn't that creative."

"Maybe it was me," Remy said, slipping into a tight black shirt and shorts. "Mystique. I have the powers, the skills, and the wardrobe to pull of something this evil."

"No, it was me!" Victor and Remy looked over to where John was standing. He had Erik's helmet and a bed sheet wrapped around his neck. "The Master of Magnetism! The only man capable of designing something to control a young girl! Once they see what kind of power she has, those pathetic humans will never question their place on the species hierarchy! Mutant and Proud!" He held up one hand in a fist to symbolize mutant freedom.

"Mutant and Proud!" Victor and Remy repeated, copying his gesture.

"Comrades," Piotr said, sticking his head into the room. "Magneto has just informed me that we are to continue with the mission as scheduled. The rain has let up and Pyro will be able to use his power."

"Aw," the boys said, taking off their costumes and putting on their uniforms.

"I hate sunny days," John said angrily. Victor and Remy nodded their heads in agreement.


End file.
